01 December 2007

The Nature of an Apology

Another petty argument and I’m left wondering my fault.

Did I speak too quickly? Was my attitude not in check? What was it this time?

Apparently all is forgotten. Or is it? Did you apologize for placing blame where it wasn’t due? Did you seek to reconcile? Or were your soft spoken words in passing supposed to sooth the situation? Not a mention of the incident nor an explanation, just a kind look and acknowledgment of my existence once more into your life.

Do I take it as it should have been or as it is? My heart can’t be angry with you for long. I have been forgiven countless times for far deeper injuries – how can I not forgive? My heart delights to do so. And I move on. I take your lead and leave all in the dust of unspoken understanding.

Questions are still raised. How do I know it won’t happen again? I don’t. How do I know that it won’t be brought up again? Maybe it won’t. Am I content with it as it is? Yes. Why? Because I will never cease to repeat my offenses and I will never cease need forgiveness.

More than that, I must because I was.