Jesus Saves

Standing there I couldn’t see much of anything. The darkness had fallen and was lingering. There was a strange heavy atmosphere like a damp fog but that wasn’t what made discernment so challenging. So I stood there cold and damp, watching the darkness whirl around me and waiting. I knew what was coming was inevitable but I silently hoped it wouldn’t come. My heart sank. Not again.

Then in the stillness I saw the movement I dreaded. It’s voice was thick and deep. It chuckled. “So you couldn’t stay away?” More blatant laughter. “You know you like this. You have to admit that if it weren’t for me, your life would be dull.”

My mind turned but there was nothing to say. I waited as it moved around me. I could feel it’s breath on my neck as it came closer. I’m here. Get on with it.

“Mmm. You are dirtier than before. I thought you might be.” It came around full circle and I wanted to melt away, to hide, as it’s eyes seemed to penetrate every ounce of my being.

Why does it always take so long? Why do I care. I chose this.

Every moment that passed seemed to torment me more than the previous one. It didn’t touch me but started circling again, as a vulture circles it’s prey. “You’re trembling today. Are you going to be as exciting as you were last time?” I heard the glee in its voice and it made me shudder all the more. “How dark you seem, but you are heartless so I should expect that from you. Let’s see. Where should I start this time? I have so many more options it seems. How many have you killed? No, how many have you eaten? Or maybe I will ask you, how did it feel when you attempted to tear yourself up? When haven’t you ever tried to inflict pain on yourself or others? You know I commend you for thinking ahead. Destroy yourself so I have less work to do. How thoughtful.”

Tears were coming to the surface but I tried not to show it. This is what I asked for. It’s a small price to pay, isn’t it? I wished I could believe myself.

“What about your husband? Oh, that’s right. I forgot you have none. Well, it’s okay. He’ll appreciate it later. You really are too dirty. I don’t know what he would do with you.” It giggled again. I could feel it’s cold rough hand sliding up my arm. “If you wanted I could be your husband. After all, I am your master. It would be fitting. I appreciate you, the dirtier the better.” Its hand was on my shoulder now inching it’s way to my neck.

The sick feeling in my stomach increased but still I stood there. There was no way to prevent it. I had to let it wash over me. I chose this! I kept trying to remind myself. Oh, God! Why doesn’t it get on with it? Everything in me hurt. One tear trickled down my cheek. I didn’t wipe it away.

“What’s this?! Tears of joy? Or maybe you still feel after all. Very interesting.” It’s stale breath was on my face. “ You should have thought of that before. It’s too late. You are mine. There is nothing that can be done but accept it. I’m all you have.”

Why did I do this? I want out! Oh, God! Not again, please I can’t take it! The tears were falling now, steadily. No, I don’t want to do this! I can’t! I can’t! Help me! Please!

Suddenly, there was a loud sound almost like lightning accompanied by such force it knocked me over. I looked up from the ground and could see two images, my tormentor and a man, very still and thin looking. There seemed to be more light now, though it was still dark and damp and cold.

It was taken aback for an instant but it didn’t take long for it to regain composure. It looked from me to the new arrival. They stood there for a minute, silently. Then I heard it laugh out loud. “You! Well, the more the merrier!” The man did not shrink back. He stood ready and waiting but with an air of humility.

Who is this? What is going on? For an instant I dared to feel relief.

“You know the arrangement.” The man said quietly. “Do what you will.”

It circled it’s new prey, then suddenly with such vengeance as I had never seen, it attacked. I flinched though they were not close enough to effect me. However, the man was steady. He man fell back a bit but was still standing. He didn’t move or make a sound. “Are you really that strong?” It taunted before striking again. “I never thought I would see the day you were at my mercy!” It struck again and there appeared in its hand a whip of nine tails.

Why is he still standing there? Is he just going to let it come after him? Why doesn’t he fight back? I watched as it began to circle him and wondered at what was seeing.

I watched in horror as it beat my rescuer with the most venomous intent. Within minutes the tormentor had him doubled over in agony but still the man made no protest. He didn’t fight back. He just took what was given him. I wanted to jump up. I wanted to take that punishment that I knew was mine but I was frozen-- in fear or shock, I know not which. Maybe it was both. Again and again, the tormentor beat him and spit on him and laughed at him. My guilt was sure and my shame complete. Here was one who stood in my place and took my punishment and shame. He received my torment willingly though he himself deserved none of it!

It seemed hours later when, at last, it was over. Tortured to the fullest, finally he fell and did not get up. It was pleased with itself. It kicked the poor man’s body one more time, then, with a satisfied sneer, bent over to ensure it’s work was complete. Finally standing, it looked around for me. “And he thought I would stop there?” It’s laugh was malicious. “Where have you gone? You aren’t hiding are you?”

I was in plain sight, or so I thought but I silently prayed that I was truly as hidden as I felt. Though, what did it matter? He was another who endured pain and punishment because of me. I wanted to die.

For some reason, the tormentor looked for me and did not find me. It was as though I was covered from his sight. Finally, he gave up the search and left but still I didn’t move. I looked at the body before me and the blood that should have been mine. I fell on my face and wept bitterly.

I cried myself into a worthless sleep and when I awoke there was light. It was no longer the thick wet darkness that hung in the air. In fact my surroundings seemed to have changed entirely. As I lay there, letting my eyes grow accustomed to the new light, I noticed that I was indoors somewhere, warm and clean.

It was a minute before I realized I was not alone in this room. When I saw him, he leaned over me cautiously. “You’re awake. That’s good.” His voice was kind and quiet.

“Who are you? Where am I?” I asked.

“You’re safe. I am Joshua.” Suddenly, I knew him. The man who had suffered for me was now in front of me!

“You weren’t dead?!” How can this be?!

He smiled a small smile. “No. I am not dead and now you are not dead either.” He sat down next to me and was quiet for a minute. “What happened to the one? And do you not have any other tormentors?”

“No. I mean, I don’t know. It looked for me and left.”

“Well, then neither do I accuse you. Now, you are mine. You may go. Be clean. It can never reclaim you.”

Because of what happened at the cross, Satan can NEVER reclaim you. The wrath of God has fallen. At the cross we should see the full consequences of sin… that death should have fallen on you and it didn't because Jesus stepped in. Sin killed your Lord and it kills you. Think about the cross.

What Really Happened...

The following is the story of my cousin, Kate, and one of my best friends, David. It's tragic but encouraging and maybe it will better explain what happened last semester...

In three-week-old wedding photos, Katie and David Schrauger look like a model bride and groom newly in love.

There is peace in their eyes, giddiness in their smiles.

In pictures, the pain is invisible.

But everyone at their wedding knew the meaning of the hymn read at their ceremony titled "It is well with my soul."

They are words that seem impossible for a family struck with unimaginable grief this year.

The smiles in the photos hide heartache from months earlier when David, 24, an Army specialist, had a near brush with death after his Humvee was hit by a roadside bomb in Iraq on Father's Day.

Then his parents lost their Lake Orion home in a foreclosure this summer. His father had left his job to be at David's side as he recovered from a collapsed lung, spine and neck fractures, shrapnel that pierced his limbs and infections.

Then, when it didn't seem like it could get any worse, it got much worse.

The family was crushed with the greatest tragedy in September. As David recuperated at an Army hospital in Texas, his younger brothers Josh, 17 and Tim, 14, got in a car accident back home that killed both of them.

They were supposed to be his groomsmen.

"Through this whole thing, God has given us grace, I don't know how," David said softly, holding hands with new wife Katie, 22, who is from Mundy Township.

"We're never going to understand everything. It's still hard to imagine the why of it."

"It is well with my soul," he said, quoting the hymn read during their wedding in the chapel of Texas-based Brooke Army Medical Center where David is still getting treated.

But then he added his own line: "As troubled as it is."


Despite the sorrow, the couple says they're healing together.

David, a Fairview native, smiles when he talks about his parents looking happy as they danced at his sister Kristina's wedding recently.

The newlyweds even giggle when they look at their wedding album and talk about the year-long courtship laced with travails.

How David put a ring on a ribbon around his neck when he proposed because he didn't trust his hand movements after his attack.

Or how painful it was to get down on one very sore knee.

"I had to practice it a few times until I said 'I can do this without falling over,'" he laughed.

They even joke about the wiry contraption that temporarily juts out of David's arm and that kept him from wearing an overcoat at the wedding.

"It feels like we've finally started our lives together officially," Katie said. "You learn how much to appreciate each other and to look at the positives.

"We're focusing on making memories with the family we still have."

That includes Christmas, which they feel lucky to be spending in Michigan.

The couple has been living in San Antonio where David still works to regain muscle movement in mostly his arms. But they're on a brief visit home, with Katie taking over David's care.

"It's been a really rough year for the family," said Katie's mom Nancy Welliver, who lives in Mundy Township with husband, Scott.

"Their story is incredible. It's a love story, it's tragic, it's joyous."

Their story started a year ago when the two saw each other at a mutual friend's wedding.

David, who had already served a brief tour of Afghanistan in 2005 and was about to be sent to Iraq, wore his uniform.

"We were both looking spiffy and checking each other out," David recalled. "But I was shy. We never said a word to each other."

Their first conversation happened later in cyberspace with her in Michigan and him in Baghdad. Katie, then a Baker College student, noticed he was online through MySpace and typed "What time is it over there?"

By Christmas of last year, online chatting became constant, sometimes hours long. They talked about their families, daily life and religious values.

"I would be laughing as I was typing," Katie said.

Then in April, when he was home on leave, she greeted him at the airport.

"I just ran to her and we held each other for hours," David said. They saw each other everyday he was home. "We knew we'd get married."

But young love was tested right away.

The day before the June attack, Katie talked to David on the phone and reminded him to call his father on Father's Day.

Nearly 40 hours went by and no one in the family had heard from him.

"I knew something was wrong," she said.

David was driving a Humvee back to a safe zone and didn't see the hidden improvised explosive device that flung the vehicle into a sewer trench. Another soldier in the vehicle was killed.

"I don't remember much of it," he said. "I just remember seeing my lieutenant yell 'we're going to get you out' and then looking up at a medic in a Bradley and saying 'I made it.'"

His family met him at an Army hospital in Germany and Katie joined them at the Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington.

"He looked a lot different from the last time," she said. "It was very overwhelming. I was worried."

When she saw him, he had both arms and one leg in casts up to the tips, a neck brace, bruises, a web of wires and wound vacs sucking blood and other material from his body to prevent swelling.

"This whole time she stuck with me through the end," he said. "Some guys would have to worry about 'will she still love me after she sees me?' After that, I knew she wasn't going to leave."

That was followed by 30 to 40 surgeries in Texas where Katie visited often.

"A lot of people may have run away but not Katie," said Katie's former piano teacher, Janet Walworth of Holly Township. "She took care of him because she loves him.

"They're going to make it because of that kind of loyalty and love. You don't see people stick together like that anymore. He's just going to get better and better and they have good families behind them."

Meanwhile, the plight of David's parents, Cliff and Vicki Schrauger, who lost their home to foreclosure while their son recovered from war wounds, was chronicled in the media.

There was some good news for the family when during Labor Day, David proposed and wedding planning began.

But on Sept. 29, while Cliff Schrauger was at the hospital with David, he got a phone call. David's brothers had been in an accident.

"He came back in the room and said 'it's as bad as you can imagine,'" David said, getting teary. "It hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't believe it was real."

The next day, David's dad returned to Michigan while Katie moved to San Antonio.

After hard-fought military permission, David, Katie and a physician flew to Michigan for his brothers' funeral.

Sometimes, he says, he still breaks into stories about his brothers, such as being with Josh when he shot his first deer and getting Katie's engagement ring and goofing around with Tim.

"The other day we saw a movie ... and there was a line 'you're the best big brother I could ever ask for,'" he said. "It made me teary because I was their big brother. It made me miss them so much."

Meanwhile, David sometimes watches the news but says it doesn't show the progress he saw in Iraq. He stays optimistic about war efforts and "can't wait to see the guys from my unit come home."

He and Katie will stay in Texas until David, who was awarded a Purple Heart and who will likely become medically retired, is completely healed. They aren't sure what's next.

"So many incredible things have happened since (the tragic events)," David said. "I know God's in control and I believe that with all my heart."

"God has really spared my life."

http://blog.mlive.com/flintjournal/people/2007/12/despite_heartaches_young_coupl.html

On The Golden Compass

Many of the Christians I’ve talked to about The Golden Compass have had a very negative opinion of the movie – whether they have seen it or not. I finally decided to see it for myself. While entertaining in the least, it left me with much food for thought, and now that I’ve spent the last week mulling it over, I think I am finally ready to write something.

It’s true that The Golden Compass has a hidden agenda. I could see where the author was going before the movie was half over. Yes, there is a lot of symbolism and ultimately the characters in the movie are at war with the entity that represents God. I found the question of why very intriguing. The author clearly has a problem with God because He is sovereign.

The reason the characters are fighting is because this entity, referred to as the Magistrate, is out to rob people of their free will, represented by the small animal (known as a daemon) that follows around each person. The focus is on children because children are impressionable – a point of which the author is keenly aware. The children’s daemon is constantly changing shapes because they have not fully formed there opinions.

I find it interesting that the author makes this clear and one of his underlying messages is that we are ruining our children by instilling in them certain values and standards. In teaching our children about God we are destroying any possibility for them to develop and form their ideas on their own. But while this is the case, he has resented his ideas in the form of a movie that is directed toward children. Funny. So his ideas are okay to instill in children whereas Christian ideas are dangerous? Or maybe he didn’t think of that.

I don’t think that I would send my children to see the movie but I do think that when the movie comes out on DVD it would be well worth renting. I think Christians ought to be aware of what is being taught and not shy away from it. It’s true that the message is anti-God but it’s also true that we should be educated about what is going on in our world and what is being taught so that we can better minister to the world.

It’s also true that those responsible for production of the movie seem to have paid very close attention to the way The Chronicles of Narnia was made and the feel of the movies are similar. The movie is pleasing to the eye. Those responsible for the aesthetics should be proud. They did well but it really did lack originality. I felt very much as though they were trying to copy Tolkien and Lewis. The Nordic feel to the movie was very reminiscent of Tolkien’s trilogy, while the colours and the animals seemed to be from Narnia itself.

However skewed the message is, the movie was very entertaining. Yes, the polar bear are amazing and there is a sweet polar bear fight. See the movie and draw your own conclusions. These are mine.

A New Rebuttal to an Old Issue

Riverbend Church is my mom's "home away from home" church. I have visited there several times and have a few friends there. I greatly respect the senior pastor, Dr. Hargrave.

My mom called today and pointed me in the direction of Riverbend's website because she found yesterday a delayed response to a sermon given in October of 2006 by Dr. Jerry Vine. Dr. Vine is a former President of the SBC and highly respected by many within the convention however he is not always agreed with. The sermon was delivered at his home church and was in regards to the dangers of Calvinism.

Dr. Hargrave considered responding shortly thereafter but decided against it on the grounds that the sermon was given only to Dr. Vine's local congregation. As of June 6, 2007, however, the Florida Baptist Convention (FBC) has printed the sermon and sent it out to all within the FBC.
For this reason Dr. Hargrave has reconsidered and decided to write an open letter in response to the sermon.

I myself have not yet in their entirety. They are a bit lengthy but a very interesting read to be sure. Check it out.

Something Amusing...

The "Real" Issues

check it out!

The Real Issue

I read today about an organization, called the CWFA, that is concerned about the decency of the Superbowl. By “decency” I mean the concern is whether or not the Superbowl will be family friendly this year. The Concerned Women For America (CWFA) is a Christian organization that seeks to stand up for Biblical principals in our lost culture but while their goals are good I wonder if they are missing the real issue.

“God’s gotta change her heart before He changes her shirt,” sings Casting Crowns in a new hit from their latest album, The Alter and the Door. When I first heard that line it made me think. That’s what is missing in this generation of evangelicals. How quickly we run to arguing with the world about surface issues and miss the real problem.

“I can’t believe the way girls dress nowadays.” “We need to stand up for public prayer.” “It’s wrong for politicians to ignore the needs in Africa.” The list of complaints from Christians goes on and on but what good is it doing? They still ban prayer, and Janet Jackson still has a “wardrobe malfunction.” Is our complaining making a difference? Picketing at the White House reminds Washington that we don’t like abortion but what is it doing?

We are missing the real issue here. We might be able to influence politicians decisions but issues will keep coming unless the hearts of these people are changed. What we need is not another march but another missionary and prayer warrior. It isn’t about fixing surface issues. It never has been, but somehow Evangelicals have forgotten this.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t raise our voices against concerns for religious liberty but what I am saying is that if that is all we do, we are damning our country. We need to proclaim Jesus Christ and Him crucified. We need to pray that the Spirit of God moves in the hearts of our leaders. We need to walk humbly before our God and seek to lead by example.