Jesus Saves

Standing there I couldn’t see much of anything. The darkness had fallen and was lingering. There was a strange heavy atmosphere like a damp fog but that wasn’t what made discernment so challenging. So I stood there cold and damp, watching the darkness whirl around me and waiting. I knew what was coming was inevitable but I silently hoped it wouldn’t come. My heart sank. Not again.

Then in the stillness I saw the movement I dreaded. It’s voice was thick and deep. It chuckled. “So you couldn’t stay away?” More blatant laughter. “You know you like this. You have to admit that if it weren’t for me, your life would be dull.”

My mind turned but there was nothing to say. I waited as it moved around me. I could feel it’s breath on my neck as it came closer. I’m here. Get on with it.

“Mmm. You are dirtier than before. I thought you might be.” It came around full circle and I wanted to melt away, to hide, as it’s eyes seemed to penetrate every ounce of my being.

Why does it always take so long? Why do I care. I chose this.

Every moment that passed seemed to torment me more than the previous one. It didn’t touch me but started circling again, as a vulture circles it’s prey. “You’re trembling today. Are you going to be as exciting as you were last time?” I heard the glee in its voice and it made me shudder all the more. “How dark you seem, but you are heartless so I should expect that from you. Let’s see. Where should I start this time? I have so many more options it seems. How many have you killed? No, how many have you eaten? Or maybe I will ask you, how did it feel when you attempted to tear yourself up? When haven’t you ever tried to inflict pain on yourself or others? You know I commend you for thinking ahead. Destroy yourself so I have less work to do. How thoughtful.”

Tears were coming to the surface but I tried not to show it. This is what I asked for. It’s a small price to pay, isn’t it? I wished I could believe myself.

“What about your husband? Oh, that’s right. I forgot you have none. Well, it’s okay. He’ll appreciate it later. You really are too dirty. I don’t know what he would do with you.” It giggled again. I could feel it’s cold rough hand sliding up my arm. “If you wanted I could be your husband. After all, I am your master. It would be fitting. I appreciate you, the dirtier the better.” Its hand was on my shoulder now inching it’s way to my neck.

The sick feeling in my stomach increased but still I stood there. There was no way to prevent it. I had to let it wash over me. I chose this! I kept trying to remind myself. Oh, God! Why doesn’t it get on with it? Everything in me hurt. One tear trickled down my cheek. I didn’t wipe it away.

“What’s this?! Tears of joy? Or maybe you still feel after all. Very interesting.” It’s stale breath was on my face. “ You should have thought of that before. It’s too late. You are mine. There is nothing that can be done but accept it. I’m all you have.”

Why did I do this? I want out! Oh, God! Not again, please I can’t take it! The tears were falling now, steadily. No, I don’t want to do this! I can’t! I can’t! Help me! Please!

Suddenly, there was a loud sound almost like lightning accompanied by such force it knocked me over. I looked up from the ground and could see two images, my tormentor and a man, very still and thin looking. There seemed to be more light now, though it was still dark and damp and cold.

It was taken aback for an instant but it didn’t take long for it to regain composure. It looked from me to the new arrival. They stood there for a minute, silently. Then I heard it laugh out loud. “You! Well, the more the merrier!” The man did not shrink back. He stood ready and waiting but with an air of humility.

Who is this? What is going on? For an instant I dared to feel relief.

“You know the arrangement.” The man said quietly. “Do what you will.”

It circled it’s new prey, then suddenly with such vengeance as I had never seen, it attacked. I flinched though they were not close enough to effect me. However, the man was steady. He man fell back a bit but was still standing. He didn’t move or make a sound. “Are you really that strong?” It taunted before striking again. “I never thought I would see the day you were at my mercy!” It struck again and there appeared in its hand a whip of nine tails.

Why is he still standing there? Is he just going to let it come after him? Why doesn’t he fight back? I watched as it began to circle him and wondered at what was seeing.

I watched in horror as it beat my rescuer with the most venomous intent. Within minutes the tormentor had him doubled over in agony but still the man made no protest. He didn’t fight back. He just took what was given him. I wanted to jump up. I wanted to take that punishment that I knew was mine but I was frozen-- in fear or shock, I know not which. Maybe it was both. Again and again, the tormentor beat him and spit on him and laughed at him. My guilt was sure and my shame complete. Here was one who stood in my place and took my punishment and shame. He received my torment willingly though he himself deserved none of it!

It seemed hours later when, at last, it was over. Tortured to the fullest, finally he fell and did not get up. It was pleased with itself. It kicked the poor man’s body one more time, then, with a satisfied sneer, bent over to ensure it’s work was complete. Finally standing, it looked around for me. “And he thought I would stop there?” It’s laugh was malicious. “Where have you gone? You aren’t hiding are you?”

I was in plain sight, or so I thought but I silently prayed that I was truly as hidden as I felt. Though, what did it matter? He was another who endured pain and punishment because of me. I wanted to die.

For some reason, the tormentor looked for me and did not find me. It was as though I was covered from his sight. Finally, he gave up the search and left but still I didn’t move. I looked at the body before me and the blood that should have been mine. I fell on my face and wept bitterly.

I cried myself into a worthless sleep and when I awoke there was light. It was no longer the thick wet darkness that hung in the air. In fact my surroundings seemed to have changed entirely. As I lay there, letting my eyes grow accustomed to the new light, I noticed that I was indoors somewhere, warm and clean.

It was a minute before I realized I was not alone in this room. When I saw him, he leaned over me cautiously. “You’re awake. That’s good.” His voice was kind and quiet.

“Who are you? Where am I?” I asked.

“You’re safe. I am Joshua.” Suddenly, I knew him. The man who had suffered for me was now in front of me!

“You weren’t dead?!” How can this be?!

He smiled a small smile. “No. I am not dead and now you are not dead either.” He sat down next to me and was quiet for a minute. “What happened to the one? And do you not have any other tormentors?”

“No. I mean, I don’t know. It looked for me and left.”

“Well, then neither do I accuse you. Now, you are mine. You may go. Be clean. It can never reclaim you.”

Because of what happened at the cross, Satan can NEVER reclaim you. The wrath of God has fallen. At the cross we should see the full consequences of sin… that death should have fallen on you and it didn't because Jesus stepped in. Sin killed your Lord and it kills you. Think about the cross.